Curse

Lint · Sep 12, 2006, 10:59 PM // 22:59

I am completely sick of this game now, the fact that there's a max armor, max dmg and so on. I have moved on to Wow now, its a much more complex game.

In my storage theres 800k...

Now how can you get this fabulous gold you might ask? Well its simple, MAKE ME LAUGH. I rarely laugh because I am a grumpy guy.

The rules:
The maximum of 2 jokes per account!
The jokes can be written or it a be a funny picture/pictures.
There's also 2nd prize and 3rd prize winners!
NOTE: I don't really check GW forums much anymore, so you can expect a while for me to check theses if i remember,

Winnings:
1st wins- 800k
2nd- 75kk
3rd- 25k -What Now Homie Wins

gl, hf

Elbereth_Tiniquetil · Sep 12, 2006, 11:10 PM // 23:10

my post

An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman go into a pub. Each orders a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and land-- one, two, three-- in each of the pints.
The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another... the Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.

The Irishman reaches in to the glass, grabs the fly between his fingers and shakes him as hard as he can, shouting 'Spit it out, ya bloody bastard! Spit it out!'

and

An Irish man has been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So your man stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside he stands up but again falls flat on his face. He crawls home. Reaching the door he tries to stand up, and yet again, falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bed he summons the last of his strength and tries one final time to stand.

It's no use. He tumbles into bed and is soon sound asleep, only to awaken the next morning to the sound of his wife standing over him shouting.

'So... you've been out drinking again!'

'How did you know?' he asks, his head hung in shame.

'The pub called-- you left your damn wheelchair down there again!'

Sir Skullcrasher · Sep 12, 2006, 11:12 PM // 23:12

I can't believe we beat those iway bastards with Furious Gwen's Broke Flute of pwnage!

What Now Homie · Sep 12, 2006, 11:12 PM // 23:12

last thread you said there was 400k in storage... but...

Opeth11 · Sep 12, 2006, 11:13 PM // 23:13

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Opeth.
Opeth who?
Me.

Lord Sojar · Sep 12, 2006, 11:15 PM // 23:15

Welcome to the group X XxxX X. Its good to have a monk! What are u running?

Running? I thought we were fighting. Ive got mending.

X XxxX X, do you know the shape of Italy?

No?

It's a boot. *Kicks from group*

Annoy Mous · Sep 12, 2006, 11:22 PM // 23:22

A blind man and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar. Actually, the seeing eye dog walks under the bar and the blind man walks into it.

cup-o-noodles · Sep 12, 2006, 11:38 PM // 23:38

Quote:

NOTE: I don't really check GW forums much anymore, so you can expect a while for me to check theses if i remember

Posibly translatible to: "I'm never checking these forums again, and just got you to start an off topic joke thread in the riverside inn." ?

JC68 · Sep 12, 2006, 11:44 PM // 23:44

well this is FUNNY but i know, it breaks rules :P

http://media.putfile.com/LFG-for-hall-of-heroes

Zinger314 · Sep 12, 2006, 11:45 PM // 23:45

A recent awkward PM conversation by me to another player (I can upload the source images if needed):

Lint · Sep 12, 2006, 11:47 PM // 23:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by What Now Homie

last thread you said there was 400k in storage... but...

I was planning on givving 400k to my friend... But then he cursed me out after seeing this thread so now hes getting nothing.
That picture made me giggle.

Lint · Sep 12, 2006, 11:48 PM // 23:48

Argh, double post

slappy · Sep 12, 2006, 11:50 PM // 23:50

from bash.org, not ingame

Hey, you know what sucks?
vaccuums
Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
black holes
Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
lava?

Apple · Sep 12, 2006, 11:51 PM // 23:51

Quote:

I have moved on to Wow now, its a much more complex game.

That wins teh internets

Terra Xin · Sep 12, 2006, 11:53 PM // 23:53

You can hear the distinct sound of someone yelling out "Charge!" as two masked men rush into the thread. The forum moderators are taken out easily thank's to one of the masked men being a touch ranger, they were no match at close range. To make sure noone else can get in, the second man summons his pet Kuunavang to watch the door

One of the men shout out: "THIS IS A STICK UP!! NOOOOBODY MOOOOOVE!!"

The taller man kneels down and plants a bunch of Spiked Traps across the whole floor, and purposely makes them visible so that they know they can't move. He then uses the three running stances and teases everyone for a few hourse because he knows noone will be able to catch him. The shorter man uses signet of weariness lvl 200 on the whole group, and then mass casts ineptitude in conjunction with mending for energy management before pulling out his staff and using it as a gun... if that had been invented. "Where's the OP???"

No answer is given from the people who have already posted in this thread.

The shorter man gets angry "Coward!" "Fear Me!"

one of the well-known but skimpy looking threadposters by the name of Opeth11 (no offense, storyline purposes only *sets up Spellreaker* :P) calls out "Knock knock!"

"What?" The masked touch ranger replied.

"I said Knock Knock!"

The ranger sighs... "Who's there"

"Opeth"
"Opeth who?"
"me"

The touch ranger... heavily confused replies "O....k then..." Some of the hostages laugh at the remark from opeth. This invuriates the touch ranger as he sets up choking gas and switches out his staff for his bow. He readies his bow to aim at Opeth and all adjacent foes at that current location to suffer +6 damage and cause interruption to affected foes who are casting spells.... and then asks in return, "I got a question for you. You feelin' lucky... punk?"

The IW mesmer, Flaux Terrahaven... oh GOREREDENGINEGOREREDENGINE! I mean, The 'shorter masked guy' asks again, "WHERE's THE OP>???... you! catfishface! where is he?"

"He's over there dumbass, just go two posts above me... man, looks like someone is too lazy to scroll their screen upwards..."

"There you are!!" "To The Limit!" "Go Go Power Rangers!!" The shorter man rushes in while the touch ranger keeps his bow aimed. While running up on the thread chain, he notices that someone had left one of their wheelchairs behind "Tough luck for whoever owns this chair..."

After a few hours, he notices that someone flew directly over him, and lands straight onto the OP. "Hey! Who the hell are you? Get of my hostage! I Have mending!!"

The person who landed on the OP replies, "You have mending?? OMG SO DO I!!! Mending is awesome isn't it?

"The best one around..."

"Yeah it is..."

Both men sigh with passion.

The monk continues, "The stupid group I was in last time booted me with Italy, I don't know why, but I'm glad I didn't have to run. Hey wait a minute, your party window says you're a Me/W, how can you have mending?"

"Um yeah whatever... listen, do you know what the shape of Italy looks like?"

"Well yeah I just told you, it looks like a boot."

"Correct!" *boot*

While flying, the monk calls out "YOU CAN'T STEAL ANOTHER PERSONS ECTO-JOKE!! SCaMMER!! I'M REPORTING YOU!!"

"Stupid monk, I ain't sharing the loot with him..." He eye's the OP who had previously been knocked out by the fat monk, "Now... Gimme all yo money!"

Just as lint was about to laugh, he looks over to the ranger, and he suddenly gets hit by dazed. The shorter man looks down at the ranger "You hit him with Concussion shot??"

"No, I just looked at him..."

crow120 · Sep 12, 2006, 11:57 PM // 23:57

Aw hell I think this is my favorite and should be read and laughed at or riticuled and belittled whichever floats your boat.

Two men are sitting at a bar on the 60th floor of of a high rise building. As they sit there one man looked to the other and said "I bet you I can jump out that window and catch an air current back into the building and come back up here." The other guy thinks to himself he has had a few to drink this night but not enough to believe this so he says to the man "put me down for $100." First man says fine and jumps out the window, 3 minutes pass and he comes back into the bar and asks for his money the other man obviously shocked says, "yeah, I'll pay you if you can do it again." Sighing, the first man says ok and jumps the second time and comes back in. The second man pays this time inhales deeply and runs headlong out the window and falls to his death 60 floors down. The first man chuckles and goes back to drinking the barkeep says to the man "superman you are one helluva mean drunk."

Kakumei · Sep 13, 2006, 12:12 AM // 00:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lint

I have moved on to Wow now, its a much more complex game.

I'm not sure when "complex" and "long, drawn out, and grindy" became synonymous but okay.

Scavenger Rage · Sep 13, 2006, 12:13 AM // 00:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lint

I have moved on to Wow now, its a much more complex game.hf

Congratulations, you just won you own contest.

It is not possible for anyone to reach such sarcastic and funny comment.

Latter.

robertsheph78 · Sep 13, 2006, 12:13 AM // 00:13

Here are my 2 jokes...

#1. A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a nude beach in
Tampa. As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the
women have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her
why.

She tells her son, "The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is."

The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but
returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger things
than his dad does.

She replies, "The bigger THEY are, the dumber the man is"

Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to
play.

Shortly thereafter, the boy returns again, and promptly tells his
mother:

"Daddy is talking to the silliest lady on the beach, and the longer
he talks, the dumber he gets."

#2. A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned.

The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny.

So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, every one was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before!

All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.

He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you d id for me. How can I possibly repay you?"

"My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

Sectus · Sep 13, 2006, 12:14 AM // 00:14

Well, I'll be the first to break the rules then!

Here's a video which I got after breaking into Anet's offices. It features gameplay footage of the Dervish and is surprisingly quite amusing:
http://uberducks.ph00l.com/Pub/Sectush/dervish.avi (super high quality!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwbObW1j5QM (warning, super bad quality!)